An OFW's Memoir

Here's another funny story that never fails to keep me guffawing everytime I read it. Enjoy!

----------------------------------

Registered nurse si Bebeng sa L.A. Kasama niya ang kanyang ina na nagpagamot doon. Namatay ang ina nito. Dahil sa kamahalan ng pamasahe pabalik sa Pilipinas, nagtipid si Bebeng. Pinauwi na lang niya ang kabaong ng kanyang ina na mag-isa.

Pagdating ng kabaong, napansin ng mga kapamilya niya na nakadikit ang mukha ng ina sa salamin ng ataul. Nagkomento tuloy ang isang anak, "Ay, naku! Tingnan mo 'yan... hindi sila marunong mag-ayos ng bangkay sa Amerika! Nakudrado tuloy ang mukha ng inay."

Upang ayusin ang itsura ng bangkay, binuksan ang kabaong. Aba! May sulat na nakastaple sa dibdib ng ina. Kinuha nila ito at binasa. Ang nilalaman ng liham na mula kay Bebeng:

...................

Mahal kong tatay at mga kapatid:

Pasensya na kayo at hindi ko nasamahan ang nanay sa pag-uwi riyan sa Pilipinas dahil napakamahal ng pamasahe. "Ang gastos ko pa lang sa kanya ay mahigit $10,000 na. Ayoko nang isipin pa ang eksaktong halaga. Anyway, ipinadala ko kasama ni nanay ang mga sumusunod...
Nasa likod ni nanay ang dalawampu't apat na karnenorte at isang dosenang spam. Ang adidas na suot ni nanay ay para kay tatay. Ang limang pares ng de-goma ay nasa loob ng dalawang asul na Jansport na backpack na inuunan ni nanay. Tig-iisa kayo.

Ang iba't-ibang klase ng tsokolate at candy ay nasa puwetan ni nanay. Para sa mga bata ito. Bahala na kayong magparte-parte. Sana'y hindi natunaw. Ang pokemon stuffed toy na yapos-yapos ni nanay ay para sa bunso ni ate. Gift ko sa first birthday ng bata. Ang itim na Esprit bag ay para kay Nene.

Ate, nasa loob ng bag ang pictures ni inay, japanese version ng pokemon trading cards at stickers. "Suot ni nanay ang tatlong Ralph Lauren, apat na Gap at dalawang Old Navy t-shirts. Ang isa ay para kay Kuya at tig-iisa ang mga pamangkin ko. Maisusuot ninyo ang mga iyan sa fiesta.

Suot din ni inay ang anim na panty hose at tatlong warmer para sa mga dalaga kong pamangkin. Isuot nyo sa party. May isang dosenang NBA caps sa may paanan ni nanay. Para sa inyo, itay, kuya, dikong, Tiyo Romy. Bigyan nyo na rin ng tig-isa 'yung mga pamangkin ko at 'yong isa ay kay Pareng Tulume.

Ang tigdadalawang pares ng Nike wristband at knee caps na suot-suot din ni nanay ay para sa mga anak mo, diko, na nagbabasketball. Tigdadalawang ream ng Marlboro lights at Winston red ang nasa pagitan ng mga hita ni nanay. Apat na jar ng Skippy Peanut Butter, dalawang dishwashing liquid, isang Kiwi glass cleaner at tig-aanim na Colgate at Aqua Fresh ang nakasiksik sa kilikili ni nanay. Hati-hati na kayo, huwag mag-aagawan.

Isang dosenang Wonder bra (Victoria's Secret ata ang tatak) gustong-gusto ni Tiya Iskang society natin, suot-suot din ni nanay. Alam kong inaasam-asam nyo 'yan, tiya. anim na lipstick lang ang kasya sa bra. Ang Rolex na bilin-bilin mo tatay, suot-suot ni nanay. Nakatakip sa Nike na wristband. Kunin mo agad, Itay.

May isinisik akong zip-loc sa bunganga ni Inay na naglalaman ng $759 dollars. Hindi na ako nakatakbo sa ATM. Puede na siguro sa libing iyon. Iyong tong na makokolekta, i-time deposit niyo Kuya para pag namatay si Tatay may pambili na ng ataul. Ang hikaw, singsing at kuwintas (na may nakakabit pang anim na nail cutters) na gustong-gusto mo, ditse, ay suot suot din ni nanay. Kunin mo na rin agad, ditse. Ibigay mo ang isang nailcutter kay Jay bakla sa kanto.

Tanggalin niyo ang bulak sa ilong ng inay, may isiniksik ako 3 diyamante bawat butas. Ibangon niyo lang si inay at tiyak na malalaglag na ang mga iyon. Konting alog lang siguro ng ulo.

Isang Ray Ban ladies sunglass na pabirthday ko kay Ninang Berta, hindi ko na pinasuot kay nanay. Isiniksik ko na lang sa may bandang ulunan ni nanay. Nasa pink na plastik na maliit. "Mga Adidas at Champion na medyas, suot suot din ni nanay. Tig-iisa kayo, mga pamangkin ko. Mga pampers, panty liners, cotton buds, cotton balls, table napkins at mga scotch brite na may foam ay natatakpan ng mga puting bath towels...'yon bale ang pinangkutson ko sa kabaong ni nanay. Marami-rami rin iyon. Parte-parte rin kayo.

Marami pa akong ipinagsisiksik kung saan-saang parte gaya ng cafe, coffee creamer, ilang vienna sausage na de lata, barbie dolls, toothbrush, paper cups, plastic spoons and forks, paper at styrofoam plates, perfume, cologne, ballpens, stationeries, envelopes, bar soaps, match box toys, used t-shirts, hand towels, CD. VHS tapes, padlock, tools gaya ng screw driver, plais, long nose, atbp. Na hindi ko na na itemize dahil shift ako ngayon.

Marami pa sana akong ipaglalalagay kaya lang, baka mag-excess at si nanay pa ang maiwan. Basta parte-parte kayo, tatay, kuya, ate, dikong, ditse. Para sa inyo lahat ito. Bahala na kayo kay nanay. Pamimisahan ko na lang siya rito.

Balitaan ninyo na lang ako pagkatapos ng libing. Alam ni ate ang email ko. Paki-double check ang lista kung walang nawala sa mga ipinadala ko.

Nagmamahal,
Bebeng

P.S.

Pakibihisan ninyo agad si Nanay! Sa takip pala ng kabaong sa may paanan, tis-tisin niyo ang tahi ng pulang sinulid at may isinisik akong mga nail polish at nipper para kay Mareng Ana sa ibayo. May mga tuwalyang puti. Iyong markang Days Inn para kay kuya, Holiday Inn kay ditse, Econolodge kay ate, La Quinta kay dikong, yung Mandalay Bay para kay itay. Ingat kayo

PINOY SECRETS

These items may have been in circulation but I they are still worth a post so more Pinoys would know and be flabbergasted... :)

----------------------

Beyond Sibling Rivalry

If your siblings are married to huge celebrities and you've just lost your
chance of marrying one, would you still strive to surpass their feat?

But how could you beat being married to an award-winning actress whose
mother is a beautiful actress and whose father is the original Agent X-44
of Philipine movies?
Or being the wife of Mr. Pure Energy?
Or being Mr. Megastar?

Now, aren't you glad that you're not among the Pangilinan siblings?

Former Penthouse Live co-host and newspaper columnist Anthony Pangilinan
married Maricel Laxa, an excellent actress who is the lovechild of circa
60s actress Imelda Ilanan and action star Tony Ferrer. She is also the
half-sister of 1990 Miss Asia runner-up Mutya Crisostomo Laxa.
Anthony's brother, Senator Francis Pangilinan, was a campus figure in UP
Diliman. He was the chairman of the UP Student Council in 1986. He married
no less than the megastar, Sharon Cuneta.

Their sister, Angeli Pangilinan, was a campus beauty and brain while she
was a student at the UP School of Economics in Diliman. Angeli married Mr.
Pure Energy himself, Gary Valenciano.

REWIND: In the early 80s, teenager Edgardo José Martín Santiago Valenciano
or Gary V. to most of us, fell deeply in love with a teenage girl who
eventually became his girlfriend. Gary's true love, they said. And they
really looked perfect together. Their friends said that they were truly
meant for each other. They were the picture of pure bliss. But not for
long.

Few weeks before Gary's first major concert in 1984, a female singer became
pregnant. And Gary was the alleged father. Gary did not deny it. At 19,
Gary joined the growing list of unwed teenage fathers.
Gary's former girlfriend was shocked upon hearing about Gary's
indiscretion. She felt betrayed by Gary and the female singer. Gary's
former girlfriend was devastated.

The pregnant singer who bore Gary's child was a former Camay girl who
joined the ultra exclusive league of several generations of Camay beauties
from the first Camay girl Paquita Roces to her two daughters, Maritess
Revilla (Ang lahat ay napapalingon... At muling napapalingon) and Rosie
Revilla to actress Rosa Rosal's daughter Toni Rose Gayda (Kutis porcelana)
to concert pianist Ingrid Sala Santamaria's daughter Crispy Santamaria to a
few others. The female singer indeed looked devastatingly beautiful in her
memorable Camay TV commercial. But there was a teeny weeny objection among
his friends: She was too old for the teenage and vibrant Gary whose
popularity was just beginning to zoom up.

Everybody knows that the female singer who became pregnant with Gary's
child was María Anna Elizabeth Nepomuceno Pangilinan. In 1985, Gary
exchanged vows with the female singer who is more popularly known by her
nickname: Angeli.

Angeli retired from her singing group, Music and Magic. Angeli sacrificed
her flourishing singing career and left behind her fellow Music and Magic
members led by jeepney driver's daughter-turned-nurse-turned-singer Kuh
Ledesma, tenor singer-turned-Music and Magic co-founder-turned-musical
director Jet Montelibano and singer-turned-comedian-turned TNT-turned-bogus
political asylum seeker-turned-Michael Garfinkel endorser Fe de los Reyes.
Angeli decided to become a full-time wife to Gary, baby Paolo's Mom and
Gary's talent manager.

Meanwhile, the pain of losing Gary has left Gary's former girlfriend in
deep shock. Gary and his new bride tried to comfort her but Gary's former
girlfriend was inconsolable.

PLAY: Gary Valenciano's most inspired and most popular composition was
first heard as the theme song of a Vilma Santos movie before it became the
title of an Aga Muhlach-Lea Salonga flick and later, the title of a Kim
Chiu-Gerald Anderson TV soap opera. The haunting melody and melancholy
lyrics of this beautiful song make one wonder where Gary drew the passion
and longing for lost love which every line of this song clearly evokes.

Listen:

Sana maulit muli
Ang mga oras nating nakaraan
Bakit nagkaganito
Naglaho na ba ang pag-ibig mo?
Sana'y maulit muli
Sana bigyan pansin ang himig ko
Kahapon, bukas, ngayon
Tanging wala ng ibang mahal
Kung kaya kong iwanan ka
'Di na sana aasa pa
Kung kaya kong umiwas na
'Di na sana lalapit pa
Kung kaya ko sana
Ibalik ang kahapon
Sandaling 'di mapapantayan
Huwag sana nating itapon
Pagmamahal na tapat
Kung ako'y nagkamali minsan
'Di na ba mapagbibigyan
O giliw, dinggin mo ang nais ko, oooh...
Kung kaya kong iwanan ka
'Di na sana aasa pa
Kung kaya kong umiwas na
'Di na sana lalapit pa
Kung kaya ko sana
Ito ang tanging nais ko
Ang ating kahapon sana maulit muli
Kung kaya kong iwanan ka
'Di na sana aasa pa
Mahal pa rin kita
O giliw, o giliw ko, oooh...

This song was originally written by Gary in English. Ironically, the one
who translated it to Tagalog was Gary's wife, Angeli.

FAST FORWARD: Now, Gary has three grown-up children with Angeli. On the
other hand, Gary's former girlfriend is now known as Mrs. Buizon. She
occasionally hosts a show on TV.

The pain has eased. Somehow. Even if the former lovers get to see each
other regularly. They meet at her Mom's house during important occasions:
Christmas. New Year. Birthday of Mrs. Buizon's mother. Mrs. Buizon's
birthday. Gary's birthday. Holidays. Easter Sunday. Every Sunday, in fact.
Gary's equally famous in-laws were witnesses to the former lovers'
meetings. But they do not mind at all.

Gary's wife, Angeli, does not make a fuss over it.
Even the family matriarch, retired public school teacher Mommy Emma, is not
bothered by it.

But the truth is, they could not prevent the former lovers from seeing each
other.

Because Gary's former girlfriend has to join her mother, siblings and
in-laws during important family occasions.

And because Gary's former girlfriend was Felichi Buizon.

And because before she got married, Gary's former girlfriend was known as
Felichi Pangilinan.

And yes, because Felichi Pangilinan-Buizon is the younger sister of Angeli
Pangilinan-Valenciano.

And none of us would probably ever know the rest of this intriguing
triangle's story.













----------------


It Could Happen Only in the Movies






These two women move in different circles but they seem to lead parallel
lives.

Barbara C. Gonzales is the great-granddaughter of national hero, Dr. Jose
Rizal. Her great-grandmother is Dr. Jose Rizal's elder sister, Maria, a
liberated woman who was separated from her husband Daniel. Barbara is more
popularly known by her nickname, Tweetums. She once appeared in a Del Monte
tomato sauce TV commercial featuring three generations of women in the
kitchen. Yes, that was Tweetums with her daughter, Panjee, and Tweetum's
mother whom they fondly called Mamu. Tweetums was married to Ramon Tapales,
a successful businessman. Their daughter, Panjee Tapales ( a.k.a. singer
Panjee Gonzales), was co-host of ABS-CBN's daily morning show, Alas Singko
Y Media (now Magandang Umaga Pilipinas) and its defunct Sunday morning game
show with Roderick Paulate and Eric Quizon. Panjee soon became the second
wife of ABS-CBN chairman, Gabby Lopez. (But that's another story.) Tweetums
writes about art and culture in her column for the Philippine Star. She has
published a couple of books consisting of collections of her essays from
her newspaper column. She remains a highly-respected media personality,
being the president of a major advertising company.

Socorro Alicia R. Quirino is the granddaughter of former president Elpidio
Quirino. More popularly known by her nickname, Cory, she hosts a lifestyle
show on TV. Her kidnapping ordeal a few years ago was made into a movie
entitled, The Cory Quirino Kidnap, which was directed by massacre king
Carlo J. Caparas. Cory was married to Roman Cruz, Jr. who was the president
of Philippine Airlines and head of Government Service Insurance System
(GSIS). Cory writes a regular column on fitness and health for the
Philippine Daily Inquirer. She also published a series of health, beauty
and inspirational books. She remains a highly visible media personality
with her radio and TV programs.

While Tweetums and Cory were both successful in their respective careers,
their personal lives were not as rosy. Tweetums Gonzales and her husband,
Ramon Tapales, eventually decided to lead separate lives. Likewise, Cory
Quirino and her husband, Roman Cruz, Jr., soon parted ways.
Indeed, Tweetums and Cory seem to lead parallel lives.

Then, in a strange twist of fate, the unthinkable happened. . While
geometry teaches us that parallel lines can never intersect, the parallel
lives of Tweetums and Cory did intersect.

Tweetums Gonzales got married to Cory's former husband, Roman Cruz, Jr.
Meanwhile, Cory Quirino got married to Tweetum's former husband, Ramon
Tapales.




-----------------------


Her Mother's Joy

Her mother has always been proud of her. Mighty proud. And rightly so.

In the spring of 1991, Julia Roberts graced the cover of People Magazine's
special issue featuring its annual list of The 50 Most Beautiful People in
the World. Together with Julia Roberts in this ultimate list of the most
beautiful people were Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Madonna, Mel Gibson, Whitney
Houston, Michelle Pfeiffer, Isabella Rossellini, supermodels Claudia
Schiffer & Naomi Campbell and oops...a Filipina?

Yes, People Magazine's 1991 list of The 50 Most Beautiful People in the
World included a true-blooded Filipina who was born, raised and educated in
the Philippines.

Unlike most beautiful Filipinas who were the products of mixed marriages
and who have therefore acquired foreign physical features, this Filipina
was born to a Filipina mother and a Filipino father. It is no wonder that
she does not typify a beautiful woman by any standard: She is short,
standing only 5'2". She has a huge and deep acne scar on her forehead. She
has that distinct Asian nose (read: flat). She uses only Avon cosmetics (
gasp!) and applies makeup by herself. During her pre-Inno Sotto days, her
clothes were not made by known couturiers: They were lovingly sewn at home
by her mother who is a dressmaker. She does not even have the right genes
to inherit beauty from: Her mother was plain, even stern-looking. Her
father was a dark-skinned guy with the tough facial features of a hardened
military man.

Although both the first names of her mother and father means happy in two
different languages, their union was not as joyous. Her mother and father
were never married, making her and her only brother illegitimate children.
In the mistress hierarchy, her mother was not even her father's second
woman. Her father had a first mistress who ranked above her mother. She and
her brother only belong to their father's third family. And yes, the gay
club performer who once appeared on national television was indeed her
half-brother. She couldn't therefore be faulted for not talking about her
father. In contrast, too much has been known about her mother. Her mother
was always visible, too visible for comfort.

Her mother gave her the name Carmen and raised her in a province north of
Manila. However, when it was time for her to go to school, her
overprotective mother brought her and her brother to Manila to give them
the best education. Carmen studied in Preciosa Soliven's Operation
Brotherhood Montessori in Greenhills where she emerged as the school's
valedictorian. However, Carmen's academic rival protested the school's
decision to award Carmen the school's highest honors, claiming that she had
better grades than Carmen. Carmen's rival even revealed that the school's
owner, Mrs. Soliven, was only fond of Carmen because she always performed
in school programs which gave Carmen an edge in extra-curricular
activities. But academically, Carmen reportedly did not really rise above
her rival.

Lured into show business, Carmen became part of German Moreno's inane daily
afternoon TV show, That's Entertainment, where she got paired with comedian
and now Quezon City Vice Mayor Herbert "Bistek" Bautista. (Some say that
Vice Mayor Bautista was so enamored with Carmen that he later refused to
marry his partner despite their having a child.) As one of the countless
stars of Kuya Germ's That's Entertainment, Carmen's talent was overshadowed
by the ridiculous mass appeal of the triumvirate of Sheryl Cruz, Manilyn
Reynes and Tina Paner.

Later, Carmen made a couple of forgettable films which were big flops.
Unsuccessful in local show business, Carmen enrolled as a BS Biology
student in Ateneo de Manila, hoping to become a doctor. However, the lure
of fame and fortune shattered her medical ambition. She followed her other
dream and landed in...Dreamland! Yes, instead of comforting innocent and
fresh-smelling babies in a hospital, she ended up entertaining horny,
sweaty and foul-smelling drunken men in seedy bars.

When Carmen was a little girl, a local manghuhula predicted that she would
be crowned Miss Universe. Her mother, legally known as Miss Imutan, was
ecstatic upon hearing this. Sadly, the prophecy did not come true. However,
when Carmen was 18 years old, she bagged a beauty title. But it was
farfetched from a Miss Universe crown. Carmen became Miss Saigon.

Yes, the only true-blooded Filipina who was included in People Magazine's
The 50 Most Beautiful People in the World in 1991 is Feliciano Salonga and
Ligaya "Joy" Imutan's only daughter: Carmen Lea Imutan Salonga.
Most of us know her simply as Lea Salonga.













------------------------------




The Zobel Mansion

The daughter of a noted musician, Ayen Munji was a club singer doing the
Asian circuit. In one of her singing engagements at the Brunei Country
Club, she was spotted by Prince Jefri Bolkiah of Brunei. The next thing she
knew, she was the Prince's wife. Actually the prince's fourth wife.

Ayen abandoned her singing career and lived the glamorous life of a true
princess. With her newfound wealth, she reportedly gave all her siblings a
cool million bucks each. In fact, one of her brothers who is a nurse in the
United States has his own gasoline station now. Thanks to Ate Ayen.
Ayen knew that the day will come when she would fall from the prince's
grace. No matter how much she tried to be a good wife to him. And she was
smart enough to realize this.

Long before Ayen parted ways with the prince, she started building her
dream house in Ayala Alabang. All the materials used for the construction
of her dream house were imported. Ayen personally supervised the
construction without ever leaving Brunei. She regularly received videotapes
of the construction activities. That's how she monitored her dream house's
progress.

Ayen's dream house stands on a large lot where the majestic mansion of
Inigo Zobel (Don Enrique Zobel's heir and husband of former Palmolive girl,
Maricris Cardenas) used to lord it over. The Zobel mansion was so
exquisitely constructed that no one in his right mind would dare level it
to the ground in order to build a new house.

Singer and former Keep on Dancing co-host Franco Laurel once passed by the
neighborhood to visit his uncle who lives a few blocks away. He was
horrified upon seeing that the Zobel mansion was being demolished to build
a new house. Franco quipped, "They're destroying the Zobel mansion to build
another house? How OA naman the new owner."

The dream house that Ayen built is really palatial. Ayen's bedroom alone
occupies an entire upper floor. Sharing the space below Ayen's bedroom are
the rooms of her new husband and her two children with the prince.
But these days, Franco Laurel has stopped criticizing the new owner of the
Zobel mansion lot.

In fact, Franco has nothing but praises now for this new owner of the Zobel
mansion lot.

Because Franco Laurel now lives in the new mansion that Ayen Munji built on
the Zobel mansion lot.

Because Franco Laurel is the new husband of Ayen Munji.
And you probably know the rest of Ayen Munji and Franco Laurel's love
story.

--------------------------


Oops? She Made it Again!

How much are you willing to spend for a wedding dress?
Did I hear over P2 million pesos?

You would probably ask: Who in her right mind would spend that much for a
dress that would be worn only once.

And your next question would be: Who in her right mind would dare charge
that ridiculous amount of money for a dress?

I know someone who would.

Diane.

And she is in her right mind. And a brilliant one.

Diane was born and raised in the southern city of Cebu. Her family owns a
business chain. But she could not imagine herself behind a shop counter
waiting for customers while polishing grandma's earrings, broken necklaces
and stolen Rolexes.

After Diane got engaged, she had to choose from mountainous piles of
original wedding dress designs before she finally settled for one. This
sparked her obsession with designing wedding dresses.

After borrowing money from her mother, Diane and her husband put up a
modest fashion house. Within six years, Diane's extraordinary talent has
made her one of the leading bridal fashion designers in the country. Her
dresses can be found only in the most expensive stores. Or if you're lucky,
on eBay.

Diane's designs stand out: classic yet hip, stylish yet functional,
romantic yet practical. It is no wonder that the biggest celebrities flock
to her shop for their dress for such big events as weddings and movie award
nights. One of them was an award-winning actor who commissioned Diane to do
his bride's wedding dress in 2004. The resulting wedding dress got rave
reviews from fashion critics.

However, Diane's biggest challenge came from a young female singer who
phoned her in June 2004, requesting her to do the young female singer's
wedding dress as well as all the dresses of her entire bridal entourage.
Earlier, this young female singer shocked her fans when she announced that
she was marrying an aspiring singer who was a single father with highly
questionable reputation.

The young female singer did not want to go to Diane's shop to choose her
wedding dress' design. The young female singer did not want to catch the
media's attention. So Diane had to meet the young female singer in the
latter's house. Forty designs later, the young female singer finally made
her choice.

The young female singer's wedding dress became the object of guessing game.
Showbiz insiders speculated that the young female singer would choose the
best wedding dress designer around: Vera Wang. Well, if a minor celebrity
like Assunta de Rossi donned a Vera Wang during her wedding to Congressman
Jules Ledesma (It does not matter whether it was just off-the-rack), a much
bigger star like the young female singer certainly deserved no less than
that.

A roll call of celebrities who wore a Vera Wang wedding dress was more than
enough to convince anyone that Vera Wang is the obvious choice for the
young female singer: Sharon Stone, Uma Thurman, Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer
Garner, Mariah Carey, Jessica Simpson, Avril Lavigne, Thalia, Victoria
Beckham, Holly Hunter, Sarah Micehelle Gellar and her alter ego, Buffy, the
Vampire Slayer, among many others. Yes, they all wore a Vera Wang on their
wedding day.

But the young female singer did not want anyone else to make her wedding
dress. It had to be Diane.

Diane could only smile whenever she read in the papers various news reports
linking the young female singer's wedding dress with other more famous
designers. But she kept her silence.

With only three months prior to the wedding date, Diane mobilized her
five-woman team to full-speed mode. After all, the young female singer was
not an ordinary client. She was paying the equivalent of about 1.5 million
pesos for her wedding gown alone. Well, this is fairly a reasonable price
for a wedding dress considering that another client had just paid Diane the
equivalent of over 2 million pesos for a single dress.

Then Diane received a frantic call from the young female singer. The young
female singer's request rattled the otherwise cool and composed Diane. And
for a reason. Anyone would have choked at the young female singer's
outrageous demand. The young female singer had moved the date of her
wedding four weeks earlier. This meant that all the dresses had to be
finished - - - brace yourself - - - the next day!

Diane's team worked for 24 hours nonstop. The task at hand was really
tough. They had to finish the young female singer's Italian silk strapless
wedding dress with cathedral-length train plus her post-ceremony
ultra-short lace dress, five burgundy silk crepe dresses for the
bridesmaids, the mother-of-the-bride's dress, the mother-of-the-groom's
dress and the stepmother-of-the-groom's dress.

As expected, Diane and her team finished all the dresses in time for the
wedding the next day. Upon seeing the dresses, the young female singer
exclaimed, "The dresses were a dream. It was all exactly as I wanted."
Unfortunately, the marriage was also finished before anyone could make a
real singer out of the young female singer's groom. It was a nightmare. It
was not what the young female singer wanted.

You probably must have guessed by now that the young female singer who had
her wedding dress made by Diane was then the bride of aspiring singer Kevin
Federline.

Of course, we all know that the 22-year old former bride of Kevin Federline
was then young female singer Britney Spears.

Yes, Diane made Britney Spears' wedding dress.

With this, Diane duplicated her 2004 feat when she was commissioned to do
the wedding dress of the bride of an award-winning actor who is also named
Kevin: Kevin Costner.

We also know that Diane did the wedding dress of Alicia Silverstone,
Natalie Imbruglia, Lea Salonga and several other famous names.
And Diane also designed the glamorous wedding dresses (yes, dresses) worn
by every young girl's role model: Barbara Millicent Roberts. (Yes, that's
the full name of Barbie Doll!)

Diane is undoubtedly the current toast of Hollywood. In fact, Diane also
made fabulous dresses for Nicole Kidman, Angelina Jolie, Reese Witherspoon,
Halle Berry, Jennifer Lopez, Meg Ryan, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sharon Stone,
Janet Jackson, Mariah Carey, Christina Aguilera, Maria Shriver, Terri
Hatcher, Jessica Biel, Jennifer Connelly, Diane Lane, Debra Messing,
Michelle Gellar, Holly Hunter, Carmen Electra, Marcia Cross? The list is
endless.

Just watch the celebrity interviews during the red carpet show of any big
showbiz event (the Oscar, Golden Globe, Emmy, Grammy, etc.) and you will be
amazed at the impressive list of big-name stars who are wearing Diane's
creations. Oftentimes, Diane's dresses are worn by more stars than any
other designer.

Pinoys couldn't be prouder of this Pinay.

And Diane is a true Pinay who was born and raised in Cebu City.
And it would have been a big loss to Hollywood had Diane chosen a less
stressful life behind a shop counter waiting for customers while polishing
grandma's earrings, broken necklaces and stolen Rolexes.

Because Diane is the heir to the Lhuillier pawnshop business.

Her full name is Diane Monique Lhuillier.

And most Pinoys probably know the rest of her truly amazing conquest of
Hollywood.




------------------

Again, kudos to the author of these articles! We are definitely craving for more!

BOOM!

FART OF ME

When life has become boring, it is but refreshing to do some crazy things that will liven up your spirit. I’m sure I have a lot of them, but let me share the most recent one which transpired just last night.

(Thanks to Lisa Movious on Flickr for the image)

I was riding the LRT on my way home. Since it was Sunday, the compartment wasn’t really that full.. I must admit riding the LRT is not in the list of my favorite things as stopping in numerous stations before you reach your destination bores me a lot.

I took the train from Quirino station which means 7 or 8 more stations await my way. Grrr! I had no choice but bear the agony. But one bright, crazy idea hit my brain cells to perk up the moment.




I FARTED… i-n-t-e-n-t-i-o-n-a-l-l-y...




It was a minor boom, soundless but brave enough to make everyone around me cover all their organs for smelling. I don’t think someone suspected it was me as I was kinda’ dressed up well, and there were a few people standing around me too. Hell yeah, it felt so good! I can’t wait to hit the LRT once again… Hehehehe!

…………………

FARTOLOGY

Speaking of fart, I remember an old classmate telling me of the four types of farts. They are the following:

1. Silent but violent- an example was provided above.

2. Loud and proud- those that would require the participation of both your senses of hearing and smelling.

3. Wet and wild- uhmmm….

4. I’ve been having sleepless nights, trying to recall the fourth type. Please, please, I am willing to give a special reward for anyone who can give it to me… ;-)

Hot Flicks Galore... Now Showing!

I have been contemplating on how to make my first blog special... But what the heck?! I got these from my e-mail this morning and I just cant wait to share them with everyone. Up to now I am still cackling! :)

Whoever did this, kudos to you! We want more!! :)